Why My Kids Clean

I’ve been asked how I get my kids to listen or to clean up after themselves…I don’t think that I have a magic fix for you. I will tell you what I do and how it seems to be working.

So a little back story, I met my husband four years ago and our children were pretty small. My daughter was 4 and his twins were 5. before you say “awww how cute”…our children have been through a little bit. I wasn’t even with my daughters dad when I found out that I was pregnant. We made it work as friends and still do. My husband had been with his wife and they divorced when they were about 3+.

I had moved with my daughter from her home town (my company offered me my own store to manage) to Bozeman. We moved her dad with us, we were going to try a relationship for her, then from there (after a couple short months her father and I realized we were not compatible in a relationship) and after only year we moved to Billings. I had met my husband in Bozeman(he lived in Billings) and we had began dating.

My now husband and I’s relationship started out very rocky! When I moved to Billings I moved my sister and her daughter with me. So needless to say my daughter had been through a lot in her short years. My Husband is a lot more private than I am but I’ll just say that his kids had been through a lot as well.

We dealt with a lot of behavioral issues. On my end I had raised my daughter to clean up after herself, we periodically went through her toys and she helped me pick out things to give away, she was a great eater and so on… My husband and his ex had done much of the same with the twins. We had both started with a good foundation as far as expectations of the kids.

Life was going to get crazy again… once we decided to move in together we now had to meld our separate households. Among them they would fight it out and my now husband and I would do the same. We had a kid that was rude and bossy and peed the bed, one that would poop their pants and wanted to live in “soft pants”, and the other was/is hyperactive and woke with night terrors. What in the world did we get into?! Life was crazy!

In the midst of trying to work on all of this we decided to do it forever when he proposed, we were reintroduced to church (one that I love), my parked car being totaled by a drunk driver right in front of our house, a suicide in my husbands family and so many things came at us from every angle. Oh and a few months before the wedding I became a stay at home mom.

Guess what happened everyday though?! The kids cleaned up after themselves. I helped them because they were little but they did the majority. They were always told…”if you get it out you have to put it away” so ok….if I dump out every Lego I have I’m going to be the one to pick every single one of them up.

Now…Same thing, I would help to a point. I would show them little tricks like laying down the bucket and scoping most of them in before having to pick the individual toys up, use two hands to scoop, if you help them they’ll help you and if I am doing good but its just to much mom will help me!

I will say this though…ROUTINE we have a routine and we have to stick to it. In a lot of homes time frames and routine are a little harder. But…even if yours is small its a start. Morning and night routines are the same every single day. If we sleep in on weekends or are up early for something…same routine. Here it is:

Morning:

-We wake up (its a struggle, I know)

-Get dressed (this too is a struggle some days)

-Wash hands/Eat breakfast

-Take your dishes to the sink and rinse

-Brush teeth(with Toothbrush)/hair(with hair brush)

-Gather our things (if its a school day), shoes, backpack, our lunch…

-Shoes on and out to the car (with all above listed and needed things)

*Toys DO NOT come with unless you’ve asked and they have been approved by parental figure.* Man I can be a real jerk sometimes! 

Night:

-Wash hands/Eat dinner

-Take your own dishes to the sink and rinse

-Play

-Showers are either before or after dinner. They get PJs and clean undies ready

(I usually split them up and my son will shower before and I will have the girls shower together after dinner so I can wash/condition their hair at the same time.)

-7pm clean up messes in bedrooms

-Start “bedtime routine”

-Pajamas on (Dirty clothes into your hampers) If it wasn’t shower night

-Pick out clothes for the next day (that includes socks and underwear-unless you showered tonight)

-Brush teeth (with your own toothbrush)

-Reading for 20 mins and any other school related extras (math facts cards etc.)

-Potty and into bed.

BOOM! 

So no matter what our day is like our days start and end the same. It seems like suck a silly little thing to follow but honestly the kids are in such better moods when they follow even this simple routine.

Back to how I get them to clean up after themselves…I give them an option. Clean it up or its moms to keep oooor its garbage. I have had a lot of Legos and several Shopkins or whatever they ares…. There is a toy jail. a couple days of good cleans and they can spring um!

Also I don’t pay them. My kids don’t get allowance. They do get an allowance at the other parents. I do however see things while I’m at a store and think of my children. I often come home with little things to make their rooms more cozy, their stuff more organized and their little hearts happy!

OH! a little side note…as parents sharing custody we try to keep routines similar as much as we can to make it easier on the kids!